Awoken,
Sorry about where you are right now. I agree with gima. face-to-face. 48 hours.
And don't say what you cannot do, tell her what you've decided you WILL not do.
I've been away for few days. Sorry you're still going through a hard time and that your gig was less than a positive time for you.
Will catch up more, later.

Good thoughts and prayers, friend.

Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac