The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

A lazy Easter. We made it to church on time. D7 really likes her new Sunday school room. We ate after and then just came back to apartment and sat around until 5 p.m. D7 headed outside a few times to play. D11 just sat in a chair watching TV and playing solitare on her computer.

After nine straight action-packed days it was good to just relax.

But I was sad when I dropped D7 off. D11 rode her bike home. We spent a lot of time together. W came to the door with this big grin and I couldn't look at her. She didn't mention my birthday -- I didn't expect her to but deep down hoped she'd say something.

I've got mediation this week and interrogatories to fill out -- so I'll have enough of her occupying my head.

This is one reason I will not budge on keeping them on Sunday nights. I don't like having to "switch." The only reason I did it this week is because I have to be up at 4:45 a.m. to go to opening day in Cincinnati (5 1/2 hour drive).

My goal is to enjoy Monday.

Get through Tuesday, I have a counseling appointment in the afternoon and divorce support group at night.

Get through Wednesday, which is the first mediation session. I hope to calmly listen. State my case and not take the bait if W throws it out there. I don't need to make points or win arguments.

By Thursday I should be doing OK. This next weekend is my only free one of the month and I've got plans for Friday and Saturday nights -- so I'm getting there.

Final bonus. My sister sent me a bunch of her unused gift cards. It was a great gift. There's a $100 for Burlington Coat Factory so I can take the girls shopping in two weeks. There were several others. Tonight I got a cheapie vacuum cleaner at Walmart using her $30 gift card so it cost me just $27.60.

That's important because as of Friday I'm putting myself on a strict budget. For 11 months I've been like Jim Carry in "The Yes Man." If someone asked me to do something, go somewhere or try something, I said yes just to keep me from laying on a couch watching TV and feeling sorry for myself.

Well, I'm feeling good about things overall and it's time to stop burying myself because I'm not going to have my girls grow up to see me broke. I survived and thrived 15 years ago, before W making $8 an hour. I can survive and thrive again.

As far as the girls. They've got two more months of school and then I have three full weeks with them this summer. I may not be able to fill it with as many trips as I did last summer, but we'll fill it with something. I'll get creative.