ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS, RR22! BECAUSE IT'S ALL SO TRUE!!
I wish that I had made up the part about his making phone calls to catch up on "pissing off people." In fact, I wish I had made up everything I wrote.
And as for my thumbs--they're just blisters! Blisters covered with Band-Aids! [Granted, they're sushi Band-Aids.] Again, why would I lie about that?? What would lying about that accomplish? Why did I hear, "NOW what have you gone and done?" multiple times on Easter Sunday??
Here's the bright spot--lunatic uncle did not drink a fifth of rum (out of the bottle, no less), stagger around, try to sell his family members a toy train for $200, and talk about how we all crushed his dreams of becoming a professional go-cart driver. But, as they say, Christmas comes but once a year.
