You may need to contact his wife directly to see what she knows and her views on things. This would give you a better view of the actual facts from a good source.
agreed!
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
It sounds like you know your M is probably over unless OM suddenly dumps her. Gucci is right - he may be lying to your W. You could still shake him out of the tree if you expose this to his W. It is probably your only leverage at this point assuming he hasn't been up front about it like your W was with you (so to speak anyway - she is separated and told you she wanted to date OM so you shouldn't be suprised).
He has to dump your W - it is the only hope you have. It still might not save your M, but if you don't want this guy around your kids etc that should be your motivation at this point (not revenge, etc).
I am settling into the same place. My W is moving out, OM is a factor, and my main concern now is that her R with him fizzles out because this guy is trash and I don't want him in my kids life. I would almost be relieved if she found someone else at this point. I tried exposing him to the woman he lives with already and not sure it had an effect. You may have better luck.
ME/XW:47 S21, D19, S15, S14 M:21 T:26 W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12 W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline
Well I did confront wife about the love note. She waffled, said they had been dating for a couple weeks, I responded note said a couple months. I said I don't care anymore, i just want you to be happy and no more lies to me. She said she is really sorry and she never meant to hurt me. She didn't think it was an affair since we were allowed to date. I said only you, him, and god know when it started, and that the secrecy and the lies are the only part that bother me. So it started with syrupy sweet for the most part.
The next day she calls in the a.m. asking who else was told of note. I responded that I did tell her mom and sister and that I have been telling everyone else I talk to that I am sure their is another man. She was a little snappy about me going through the garbage to get it and definitely had some spew.
Today was another good day. I dropped off the kids and she was coming back from a walk. We went outside to talk because S7 had a tough time today dealing with why mom and me didn't go to easter together. She talked and said that we both treated each other very poorly in our marriage, she tried so hard and so did I. She is sorry for the kids and everyone involved with our drama.
We agreed that we lost our connection and quit working as a team. The fog is gone. This is the woman I married again. She said she just wants to see me smile again and she really does love me. I don't know if I believe her about the love part cause it just doesn't seem right to divorce someone you love.
I do want her to be happy and she wants me to be happy. preferably i would have liked to see if we could get our relationship on track, but this was a great consolation prize. Niether of us are bad people, we just made a bad relationship that was unhealthy for everyone involved. I think when it got out of control i wanted her to change and she wanted me to change and it just won't work like that.
If nothing else, exposure helped me to feel a much better closure to this relationship.
During her spew the other day she told me her family wants her happy and they are on her side. I said they are my friends and will continue to be. I said just because you want out doesn't mean i have to get punished. i said we don't talk about you, we just have fun together. On further thought i believed it might be best to just let them ease out of my life. i tried to write a letter to them and tell them to honor my wife's desire for us to no longer talk. They all responded upset and said she will just have to deal with it. Any others out their real good friends with the x's family? or any comments on this
Don't believe anything she tells you right now. You think she's out of her "fog" when she's not. You just watch. If there's something that you do that somehow conflicts with her "plan" and thoughts, she's going to attack you.
Do you want to save your M? If so, you're going to be the bad guy in her eyes for awhile. If members of her family are your friends, you could ask them to condemn what she's been doing. I mean let's face it. You're still married to her and she is committing A.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
They are very upset with her decisions. 1st to start the divorce and now very upset with the fact that she is seeing someone else who she has denied since the start. She has told them to respect her decisions. She tells me they just want her happy and they respect what she has decided. They say she is out of line and that they don't agree with her decisions and feel she is making a horrible mistake. They told her if they have to decide they will choose me. he is not allowed to see her family for at least a year after the D is final.
