Not sure what to do

[saffie]

As a woman, I find that there's a kind of " If you don't use it you lose it" factor involved.

Pampering and roses and flowers etc. don't do it for me_ neither does badgering etc. Keeping kept excited and in anticipation does though.

In my M we have gone through some real low periods, (especially through the years of rearing young children - they leave one little time for intimacy and take up much of one's energy. I felt all cuddled out most of the time and couldn't face being cuddled by the time the kids were in bed - what I wanted was SPACE).

I hate the labels HD/LD

It alwys implies that a LD peson has a problem. When there is a problem is when there is an incompatibility in drive. There is also a HUGE problem when the couple cannot communicate their wishes and desires and it takes huge amounts of trust to open up and say what really turns one on sometimes.

In my own M that has only come with time. I have learned that far from LD as those on here would have labelled me previously, I am actually HD. My H though has a lower driver but had no idea about keeping the excitement going for me between periods when he wanted to ML. Now he knows that that needs to be done or I' go cold'.....and that going cold can last for months.

Like anything in life to be valued, a good sex life has to be looked after.

I hope a few insights from the female perspective prove useful.