WH wanted to come play this weekend with us, and I said no, and stayed dark N/C. Because he just wanted us and his other life, and I can't live like that.
I miss WH. He could have been here, but he's not really here anyways, it's just an illusion, he lives in another city without us, by his choice.
Son had a friend come over, the parents came in to meet me, I hate having to meet the parents as a single Mom. I feel like I'm being punished or shamed for something I didn't do. Son has no father around, and I know he's self-concious about it. Daughter (was daddy's little girl) doesn't have her Dad. She tells everyone that she'll get to visit him next week, because she feels the loss of him here. Hate it, hate it, I feel so sad.
We generally put on a good face around WH, because we know he didn't come back when we were crying. But now WH says, why should he come back, clearly me and the kids are thriving without him.
He said he wanted to reconcile, and I said I'd think about it. It was a 5 minute conversation last Wednesday. Then he didn't talk to me, no texts, no calls, no nothing... Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Maybe he's giving me time to think? After almost a year, he is so distant. If actions speak louder than words, in this case, there are no actions.
Tomorrow it's back with the L's to separate finances, because he just spends, spends spends.
I don't want to do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
