TF - that is an interesting dilemma you've pointed out. You and H being at different maturity levels. Only time will tell if he will catch up with you. Hopefully there is enough of the "old him" for you to love while you patiently guide him all the way out of the tunnel so he can complete his journey.
You will need to believe in him and in yourself, your work is just beginning. I know that it's scarry and you don't want to get hurt again. But as you said you have matured a great deal and learned a lot about MLC. You can do it
Many of us would like to be in your shoes. All the best, keep us posted
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Mila - Thanks for your encouragement. I do need to regroup a bit and get it together. I did survive so far with the MLC, I guess I can keep going.:) I do feel lucky. Even if our M doesn't work out, he is at a pretty good place again with the kids and we are on good terms (just not married terms!), so I really can't complain.
Ottocat - Thank you so much for stopping by my thread! Your registered date shows you have been around a long time - do you have a current thread? Your post brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for that reminder. You are right- God can heal and make my H whole again. I need to just keep H in HIS hands and not worry about it so much.
I have my own moments of "clarity" when I can see that this MLC HAD to happen. I have known my H his whole adult life and he has been struggling with these issues on and off the whole time. Hopefully this will be the catalyst for him to actually face and deal with them and move on to a better place for him. I do pray that happens. I can see how our M could be so much better in the future for having gone through this.
Oh, a side note. I went to church looking forward to a great Easter service (it was!). But before the service started, this couple behind me was just bickering back and forth constantly. Not sure they were aware I could hear or maybe they didn't care (I was trying NOT to listen but it was right by my ear). They bickered about where they parked, Easter candy, etc. I just wanted to turn around and tell them to STOP! It is so not worth your marriage/time/energy to fight about stuff like that. Then he tried to apologize for something he had said and she turned it back around negatively. Uggh. I really was about to scream! I have never been so glad for the music to start!
God help me if I get another shot at M (this or different one)from arguing about stupid little stuff again!
TF-Happy Easter! If you went to the Easter service I think you went to- I hope you had an easy time finding parking! More cars than I've ever seen this morning!
Quote:
God help me if I get another shot at M (this or different one)from arguing about stupid little stuff again!
One of the things we learn from going through this-Perspective and Gratitude!
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
Got some gas and a yummy Starbuck's treat for the girls' breakfast! I was thinking you might be over there in the traffic jam/parkng lot! Insane is right- I joked with the girls that there were more cars there than people in Lafayette! Hope it was a good service despite the couple behind you! :-)
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
