The countdown continues

[Awoken]

Thank you;

I'm a wreck. I'm even surprised by it.
I just got back from playing my stupid gig that I took to help pay my lawyer and to fill the time. I went to my car every break and sobbed. I doubt I fit in very well at this happy Easter event. I'm supposed to go to a friends concert tonite, but I"m considering skipping it.

I agree with rr that it's too soon to take action.

I'm listening. This is why I posted; to slow down my panic. What I want to do is to call W, tell her I know about her lies and that I want her to stop delaying our divorce.

My lawyer and I made a reasonable offer to her three weeks ago. I can see clearly now that she doesn't really have any incentive to change the status quo, since is getting everything she wants. I also want to call her parents and expose her affair to them. I think only in my fantasy world will doing this benefit me.

ARE you willing to stay married to a woman while she's cheating on you?

I'm not willing to stay married to her anymore. I've been the one driving the divorce now for the past month. This is why I'm so surprised at how strong my emotional response is to this.

Not only can't I imagine her ever wanting a M with me, I can't see me wanting it either. It's very sad.

"W, I have decided I will not share you with another man. Please make plans to move out by X date. I will not pay for anything that allows you to continue to be a cheat. Prepare to get your own cell phone. Let's make a plan to separate our finances and move forward with the divorce. If you want to be honest about your drinking and the affair and take XYZ steps to address them, then I am willing to discuss reconciliation. If not, I have decided I value and respect myself too much to remain married to you."

I think I'm much to late to all of this. That's why I wonder if it even matters at this point, and why I'm confused at how upset I am. We have already separated finances, she insisted on her own cell phone plan (to facilitate her affair), has her own private email. Even though she filed for divorce at the beginning of the year, she's done nothing else towards it, and I've been doing the pushing. I want to move on with my life, and get her out of the house.

What I'm wondering is if I have to wait until she gets back to confront her on this? Maybe I could call and tell her that I want her to use some of her spring break to call her lawyer and get the ball rolling, and that I have decided that I cannot live with her while she is having an affair.