"W, I have decided I will not share you with another man. Please make plans to move out by X date. I will not pay for anything that allows you to continue to be a cheat. Prepare to get your own cell phone. Let's make a plan to separate our finances and move forward with the divorce. If you want to be honest about your drinking and the affair and take XYZ steps to address them, then I am willing to discuss reconciliation. If not, I have decided I value and respect myself too much to remain married to you."

The key is "I have decided."

She doesn't respect you. Women cannot be attracted to men they don't respect. My H got my respect when he bombed me and called B.S. on my behavior. Best thing that ever happened for our M.

ARE you willing to stay married to a woman while she's cheating on you?

SD

Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!