WAW Using God II

[pigskin]

I feel a very warm and calming presence today, and it is wonderful.

Here's how the Easter baptism for my W went:

It was the first service in the morning at her church. I had the kids and had to really scramble with them hunting for their Easter baskets, getting them some breakfast, getting them dressed, and out the door to the church. Made it with about a minute to spare.

As I walked into the outer concourse of the church with the three kids in tow, I saw my W in her baptism robe about 30 yards away. The OM was taking her picture. I felt irritation, but not the heart pounding adrenaline or hair sticking up on the back of my neck. He either caught sight of us out of the corner of his eye or my W said something, as he quietly skulked away like a shamed dog before we got in range of him.

W got baptized and was really emotional. Immediately after a few people from the church and friends formed a little prayer circle with my W, me, and our kids, out in the hallway outside the main church hall. The OM had the audacity to be on the outer edge of the circle. I cannot deny his role in my W's conversion, and without the EA I would have expected him to be there. I just ignored him.

Two people from the church led a couple of prayers; one of whom I know is aware of our situation as my W met with him. He was the one who inspired her to take the baptism step as he himself is a convert who used to be involved in all kinds of evil things. He made sure to mention our family, and especially "husband", asking the Lord to watch over us as "the Devil will be working hard to break this beautiful peace apart". I was glad the OM was there to hear that. My W made the rounds hugging everyone, including the OM, but without any knowledge of the EA, her brief interaction with him at the church would not have raised any eyebrows. She gave him no special attention.

While W was changing out of her wet clothes I spoke to the convert guy and he told me how he spoke to my wife about how she needs to start living a virtuous life after taking this step. He said it was an honor to meet me, so I'm sure he understands how difficult a position I'm in and is proud of how I'm handling it. I may make a point to meet with him one on one; he invited me to.

Me and the kids then went to our Catholic mass and afterwards met my W back at the house where we had some gifts for her. She opened them and then went to the kids and gave them a kiss and a hug, and then to me. She gave me a kiss on the lips and a tender hug.

We went out to eat, came back, and then she took the kids for the day. She asked what my plans were and I told her I was just going to hang out. I would have liked for her to invite me to come along with her and the kids as they were going to go to the park, but I have to really manage my expectations here. Baby steps. She thanked me for all the work I did to get the kids ready so early in the morning. We shared a long hug before she left.

I feel very much at peace and well taken care of by God. I know my wife understands that taking this step and continuing to engage in behavior against God's teachings is hypocrisy. It's just a matter of what she is going to choose to do.

God is reaching her in very unexpected ways. I had always hoped that somehow words from her friends or family would get to her. But God reached her through a formerly evil man who she had no connection with whatsoever. That's why I continue to have hope for my situation. I can not comprehend the ways that God can get to her; He has a lot of tricks up his sleeve that would never occur to me.

We'll see where it goes from here. She has not purged the OM from her life, and that must occur. But there was a very warm feeling with us together as a family, and it felt so right and good, like a ray of light shining down on us. It is clear that this family can and must be fought for in God's eyes.

Today was another step on that mission. My W has a lot of work ahead of her. She may fall right back into the abyss, and I am ready for that, almost expecting it. But I have all the firepower in the universe working on my side, and that is comforting.

May you all have a blessed Easter.

Pigskin