OK first of all thank you so much for your support. I really helps to know there is support, even by strangers. Your compassion, honesty and friendship is very much appreciated and extremely helpful.
So I asked some of our common friends if she could stay there next week while they are on vacation. Just to get some space for her. It was OK so I went over there yesterday with the kids to get the keys. While the kids were playing I was talking to the wife (lets call her A) of the couple and tried to explain what was going on. A was pretty surprised because my W did not spoke to her in any way. A wondered if my W talked to anyone of her female friends about her misery. So A, as a friend of my W, goes over to her to talk to her. Long story short, turns out my W has been keeping this for herself for years. And makes the life decision of wanting a D totally wrapped up in her self!!! After talking to A my W now sees in that maybe we should work on our relationship in stead of throwing it away. It seems we can start the real work. For now I have moved to the office/guestroom to show her that I don't take her feelings for granted. It is clearly all much appreciated by my W.
Now I have to keep calm and patiently focus on my life and not be so dependent. I think I am actually looking a bit forward to that. Maybe that perspective will help me.
