I have anger issues on my X's side. He basically just yells 99% of the time. So I limit allour discussion re: the kids to email. It's easier when he brings up stuff not related to the kids to just ignore and delete those and not get side-tracked. I have 2 special-needs children and it works out well to keep it to email.
It sounds like when you try to discuss the kids you side-track into anger and other issues, so until you are able to do that limiting your discussions to email helps you detach. I believe I am 99% NC with my X, trying for 100%, the way we do it even though we do have children. I have a hard time, b/c if I had a mailman that yelled at me every time he saw me; that would be weird, but I do like that analogy...
