H4L, what you have posted about your H's "self-medication" and recreational pill use concerns me very much and IMO you have ample red flags for assuming an addiction problem.
I agree with LauraOh that this complicates your sitch. I want you to go dark so that you can have some time where you can build yourself up without him tearing you down constantly. He knows how to undermine you and whether consciously or unconsciously he is doing this to you on a regular basis. He is in his own downward spiral that probably involves a combination of mental health issues, drugs, OW, and MLC. He is dragging you down with him...don't let him.
You don't have to decide your overall strategy today. But start taking care of yourself today. Don't contact your H. Leave a message with an IC today asking for an appointment and giving your availability. Look up a Nar-Anon meeting and go today. Spend some time outdoors with your S today. Rent a distracting movie to watch tonight.
(((H4L)))
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
