Ironically, "snooping" (intel gathering) actually HELPED me detach. By hearing -- and seeing -- what my wife was doing, it enabled me to not follow my usual pattern of going all "melty man" whenever she would throw me a bone. As I look back now and re-read my journal that I kept during that time, I am astounded by the number of times I might have otherwise done something DRASTICALLY wrong, tactically or strategically, if I didn't have intel backing me up.
It depends on the individual, though -- they have to be able to handle it (and some of it is pretty damned hard to stomach).
