Just adding my current experience for you. Divorce has been final two weeks. Spent two years in divorce proceedings with most of that time trying to protect my 7yr old from knowing what was going on, while hoping WAH would come to senses. Had to tell son when it became obvious my XH would file contempt of court charges against me just to prove his point.

I tried over the course of the two years to educate my XH on what would emotionally take place in our child from our divorce, to no avail. Our child is a very sensitive and anxious child by nature, and it broke my heart knowing what this loss would do to him. XH insisted child would not be perfect, but would be just fine and that I was wrong on what child would suffer.

Now, I am at least justified in my opinion. I found play
therapist for my son, and XH agreed to come for parent meeting. Therapist explained to us that our child would have to be dealt with very delicately due to his nature, and that stability would be utmost important. She let us know that he appears to be a anxious child that would need much encouragement and patience in order to adjust.

XH wanted to hang out with us after the meeting. At that time, he told me I had been right. Took two years to get to that place of understanding. Maybe it took the divorce to get to this place. But whatever the reason, I am glad he is hearing from someone else the effects of the divorce on our son.

Two days later: XH over to our home to keep son while I go out to dinner with friends. Son sees his parents getting along, and says to his dad,"You and Mommy aren't fighting. You can move back home." Of course my heart stopped. XH smiles and says to son, "You are so cute". and son replies, "I am not kidding, Dad, you can move back home now." I just stood with my mouth hanging open, and Dad continued to smile and say nothing. What could we say??? This precious child sees it so simply. And you know, it really is simple. Adults should just do what is best for the little ones, and work it out. But that would mean parents are mature adults.

I just want to express my hope and understanding of your situation. You can be proud that you are willing to do what is best for your children.