On the other hand, it is more than possible to maintain a calm and friendly demeanor with a WAS while still not allowing them to do or have anything they want. I believe some refer to it as "boundaries."
The problem is that far too many people seem to think the choices are either no boundaries or boundary their ass out of town and your life. Again, the truth often rests somewhere in between.
I tend to believe that the most effective strategy with a WAS is to live your life to the fullest while remaining true to how you actually feel about the potential future status of your marital relationship.
I agree with this. I just posted the same question in my thread on MLC. I think if you go dark then you appear weak. You essentially are saying you can't handle the situation with courage and integrity. I am not saying you allow cake-eating and you should have boundaries. If you go dark or hardline I think it communicating "you kicked me in the nuts and now I'm not going to talk to you"
There is an opportunity to be the stronger person and manage the situation.
I am not sure I agree with snooping it leads only to heartache and doesn't help the detaching process. But that's just what works for me.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
