I'm having a hard time tonight. It's my first night alone in the house.
I agree with r22. How can you not obsess over details like that? Plus, this one line in your post really popped out at me.
You've mentioned a couple times now that you were apprehensive about how you'd feel this week, given it's your first alone in the house. Do you think you're focusing on all these details about what she's doing/done as a way to avoid having to deal with your own grief and sadness? (I'm sorry if that's a stupid comment... I know my frame of reference is very different; it just popped into my head when I read that line so I thought maybe I should ask.)
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
