Messed up

[jt2007]

I just read throught the boards. I cant tell you how much I am thankful for this.

I realy wish I had recognized before that this thinking and thing with H was a MLC.

When reading through the Why they run board...everything there is so true for H.
I couldnt figure out why he kept telling me I was his stepmother.
Im no where near her at ALL.
She gave them drugs, was an alcoholic, beat them, cheated infront of them....ect...

I was hurt everytime he said I was her....I get it now.
I could never express myself and him accept me until he had totaly delt with his childhood past.

I think I made the sitch WORSE for us though. When he was arrested Twice. Because I wasnt going to put up with his anger and ANY violence towards me (this comes from my past childhood, my father was arrested many times)

Now Instead of standing there and not leaving I would have Left...even if I ment leaving my family and no matter how unfair I felt it might have been.
Now he constantly says he could have gotten over the first arrest but the second time after he begged me not to ever do it again..He said that I was worse than his Stepmom for that.

(I know I am not...but Im just trying to get what his perspective is....)



I have already apologized and showed him that I didnt have to go to the DA to get it dismissed.

Im not sure how to piece this one back together..Its his anger and betrayal he feels towards me.
I feel like I gave him his excuse to be ugly to me, which is what he needed all along!