Should I keep trying? Even though there is OM?

[Bworl]

Going to her employer and "tattling" is entirely counterproductive if your ultimate hope is to win back her affection.


Keep in mind that you have been divorced for two years. Two years.


And she cannot "make" your children like the new man in her life, but I don't really see how you can expect her not to allow him around them. Unless of course you have reason to believe that he poses some type of threat to them.


The bottom line here Cade is that you are clearly still REACTING to her, instead of just living your life. When the marriage began to fall apart and you started to recover from the shock of it all, what did you DO as far as looking at yourself?


The first step when we find out that our marriage is in jeopardy is to take a good long look at ourselves and see what it is that we've allowed to slip.


At one time our spouse found us attractive. Attractive enough to want a relationship with us. Something changed, and it likely changed within US and within the RELATIONSHIP long before another person came into the picture. Chances are these changes are what allowed another person to enter the picture.


YOUR work during DB'ing should have been to take stock of yourself and begin making positive changes to return yourself to an improved version of the man you were when you two met.


You can't MAKE your spouse come back to you. But you CAN make yourself someone that she could be attracted to again.


You're not going to do it by spending your time worrying about the current man in her life.


Two years post divorce, you should be well on your way to a normal and fulfilling life. YOu have had ample opportunity to find the better you by now, and to have begun living a life even better than you had with your wife.


Bill