I did what I did. I'm trying to find the balance of being who I am and drawing boundaries for the interactions I'm having with her. I need to clarify the boundaries more. I think that would take care of questions like these.
Acknowledge where you are in this R and/or where you want to be. What's best for you to move forward. Since you have children, you'll always have a R with her. At times, you have to move your heart out of the way - acting without expectation.
I just took a philosophy class and one of the things that stuck with me is - treat people as they deserve to be treated. To me this means, don't reward bad behavior, don't overly reward to 'teach' them generosity.
The cool thing about adding a thread to as a watched topic is that we get all posts, even if they're deleted. Stop trying to be so nice. Be fair. Don't worry about setting an example or hoping that she'll treat you kindly in return. That may last for a short while until she gets another bug up her ass.
Do what you believe is the right thing to do for you and your kids. No expectations from her.
