It's not like there are only two approaches - "Bo Peep" or "Take Charge".
There are many grades and combinations in between.
And if "Bo Peep" as mentioned here means always let them back in, let them have whatever they want, put a smile on your face even while you're being used...well, I'm not familiar with that DB'ing strategy.
On the other hand, it is more than possible to maintain a calm and friendly demeanor with a WAS while still not allowing them to do or have anything they want. I believe some refer to it as "boundaries."
The problem is that far too many people seem to think the choices are either no boundaries or boundary their ass out of town and your life. Again, the truth often rests somewhere in between.
I tend to believe that the most effective strategy with a WAS is to live your life to the fullest while remaining true to how you actually feel about the potential future status of your marital relationship.
I do not believe in dating as a strategy. I do not believe is presenting a false front of any kind as a strategy. Honesty and integrity are of the utmost importance I think, especially during a time when the WAS is often dealing in half-truths and in some cases outright lies.
Read the DB and DR books. They are not full of either-or strategies. They are full of techniques that MAY have benefit to the situation you find yourself in. And as Virginia noted earlier, try a technique and if it is not working, try another. Just remember that techniques are not designed to be "tricks."
JMHO.
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
