Yes, you can detach. It's a state of mind, it depends on how much control you have over your feelings. I found several things that worked for me before (H is a repeat offender) - one was thinking of him as an alien. The man I was with was DEFINITELY not behaving like the man I married. His brain was hijacked and this mush was left behind. Another was gaining a full understanding of the brain chemicals released in an early affair/relationship. (google PEA + love chemical to read up) - also oxytocin (which can be our friend if you want to draw him back to you through ML) and vasopressin.
Another thing was doing things for myself. They say when you're down, if you smile, eventually you feel happy inside. I treated my whole life like that. I smiled with my body and eventually felt happy outside. I would skip, sing, dance, smile, do happy things, talk in a little girl voice, and eventually I was happy inside to match the outside.
