I think NC is a divorce busiting technique- it also matches Allens recommendation for the Protective Phase when a WAS is in an A.
I hate to disagree w/ you, but Allen typically puts a lot of time an effort into sitches and provides info and quotes from many different professionals in dealing w/ A's.
DB is also about 180s and not doing things that dont work...alot wont work in an A...this forum is specifically geared towards A's and infidelity...
Alen doesnt need me to defend him, so I'll stop
I'll agree that the A's are very unfair and tough on the betrayed. The 180 is a surefire way to inject life, stability and confidence back to the betrayed. Whether it knocks the Cheating spouse out of the fog, I'm not sure it accomplishes this.
In the cheaters mind at a certain point its less painful to go on with the affair partner than going back home. We all know that their minds create the rationalizations so they don't have to feel guilt, and this is tough to overcome.
It is usually several years after an affair that the cheater if they have any shred of consciousness will feel remorse and pains of sorrow in the betrayal.
We all also agree that during an Affair that the betrayer will usually demonize the spouse, in that they will be hyper critical of what the spouse is doing wrong, and will not give weight for what the spouse does right.
Its very unfair.
In the case of a female cheater, we also noticed that usually a female cheaters mind will usually make her hate her husband in order to rationalize the affair. Sounds so backwards to me.
Thanks for the information as this is helping my recovery and increased stability in a bunch of irrational information.
