I received a text from w yesterday asking me to please go to the bank and accept the papers from her via notary. It's been a months since she's filed, and she's telling me she's given me enough time ... she wants to move forward.
The timing of her requests stinks ... just before Easter ... and in my sentimentality, I can't help but have strong emotions in the irony of the timing: we got engaged on Easter 15 years ago ... I'd sent her on an Easter egg hunt, and the ring was in the last egg she found. She's always remembered that day ... except now, it means nothing.
I know in my state there's a 60 day waiting period before a D can be final after papers have been served. I'm trying to delay receiving them as much as I can and delay this whole thing. But I feel like there's a rapidly ticking time bomb on me. I haven't had a chance to ask her for a legal separation yet ... not sure she will go for it. Any suggestions on delay tactics? I'm trying to hang on ...
If you have a L you can have him/her accept service on you behalf.
Also you will have a chance to respond once you have been served. Generally 30-60 days. This is you chance to propose a LS or anything else you want. Think of it as an offer-counter offer.
I refused to sign anything my W gave me. My L needs to explain it to me before I'm going to sign.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Exactly. Her filing is basically a complaint. You get to respond to the complaint. That's why I tell everyone to try and not get to wound up about the initial filing. Most L will put some crazy stuff in there expecting the other side to strike it down. Its standard negotiation technique. Make an outrageous request to distract from what you really want. Its a big game that nobody wins.
You can counter with a LS but talk to your L about what you really need to have in the agreement. Chances are your W will get really stuck on the LS language and ignore the rest. I would imagine you are looking for time with your kids, minimal support payments, etc. Keep you focus on those things.
I had a hard time taking the action to retain a L. However, you need to protect your interest.
Be strong! Try and separate the love you have for you W from the hell you are going to go through with the D process. Even though you don't want this don't think that playing nice will get you anywhere. Don't be a jerk but down lay down expecting her to do the same.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Make her serve you! Do not accept it any other way. It's a stall tactic for you. Time doesn't start till YOU are served. Or tell her you are interviewing attorney's right now and when you find one you like, you will have your L pick up the papers. Or, she can hire a courier which costs $$. You don't have the time to pick up the papers. I'll think of more...
Me: WAW/MLC 41 H: 42 M: 16 yr T: 20 Me: EA/PA started Sept 2008 D: Anytime, just need to sign papers http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1968939&page=1
Thank you. Yes, $$ is a huge issue with her. Honestly, looking at our mounds of debt after everything that has happened, I don't see how we can even afford D.
Interesting journey....I really was intrigued on how she went about breaking up the house....that sounds a heck of a lot more like a WAW than an MLC'er.
My first note-You talk so little about yourself....it is all about her! I see very little detaching through out your posts...it is all about what she is doing....nothing about what you are doing.
So what are you doing?
Let's get some focus on you and off the stuff you have no control over.
