I think it went alright. Kind of awkward at different times. I didn't feel the need to fill the silence like I did in the past..which forced him to make conversation which made me feel a bit better..and less desperate. No R talk..except that we discussed whether love was a choice or something you cannot control. We agreed to disagree..I said it was a choice..he believed it was something that you couldn't control. We took it no further.
One good sign...jealousy. Me and my H spoke about an old coworker of mine that I still am close with. My H became uncomfortable with our R even though it is completely platonic.
My friends wife still works in my office but her H and I remain friends. He is about 10 years older than I am. I have gone out with him and others to different concerts, dinner etc. My H always felt uncomfortable about him. I told my H tonight that my friend was helping me get my resume beefed up just in case layoffs come...I told my H that my friend was dying to know what was going on with me...which is true. My friend knows something is going on in my M but I havent given him many details. My H got very angry...and asked several times "why is he dying to know what is going on??". He got very angry which = good sign..still showing emotion. But kind of bad because it kind of set the mood for the rest of the night.
It was very loud where we were so it was difficult to talk..which may have been a good thing...not sure. He dropped me off and we had a heated discussion in the driveway about role models..religion/politicians/sports icons. My H was taking the liberal view on things..saying President Clinton will be known as the greatest president ever..I said that he would also be remembered for Monica Lewinsky...we debated this for awhile and then I gave him a kiss on the cheek and said "We elect and choose to admire politicians and sports phenoms because we feel they are superior to us mere mortals..they do have a moral responsibility to deliver more than u and I are capable of..this is why we admire them. We feel they r different..We normal folk know we are flawed..we don't want to see flaws in those we admire..because then they are u and I..ordinary..and by definition..ordinary doesn't = special..and we hate to be reminded of this. He was pretty worked up about this...I left the car.
He is still not talking to his family..and spending Easter alone. Whatever. I still kind of look at him as pathetic. I wish this wasnt the case..but I don't feel the need to kiss and hug him. I am assuming this is normal after everything...but I guess time will tell.
