Hi there! I think I'm one of the familiar faces. Glad to see you!
I think going NC is probably the best way of detaching and moving on. At least for me it is. I haven't given X my cell number or work number. He does have my home # and both my work and home emails, so that's more than enough.
I do think a lot of us are in Surviving now. I know a few of us reconciled, but I think it's probably easier sometimes to move on to healthier people than our WAS. At least it seems to be....
Of course you're one of the familiar faces! How's it going, Karen?
Originally Posted By: Virtually_Handsome
(((((GF)))))
Long time no see!
I also think that something in the direction of NC is probably the way to go. Here's the thing... you just can't control what he's going to do or say. So you either have to control your reactions, or limit the opportunities, or a bit of each.
You're both right. NC would be best...BUT...we have kids...and I've said to STBXH many, MANY times that convos are to be limited to the kids and nothing more. THAT'S IT - that is all I am willing to discuss with him. Someday, I hope it can be different....someday I hope it gets to the point where I don't tense up at the thought of HAVING TO communicate with him. Yeah - it's THAT bad.
I have a lot of anger for what he's done...and just to clarify, it's not like I'm a total biatch when we have to talk, but something does take over my mood when we do. The best way I can describe it is I go numb and soon stiffen up as if to always be on alert. I'm guarded and non-trusting when it comes to him...the walls immediately go up.
I understand I have no control over anything but myself...but sometimes I honestly believe that the only way I can ever get through to that man....when NC just doesn't cut it....is to just say what's on my mind, no matter how it comes out. Brutal honesty. I don't want to hear about how he's "struggling", financially and emotionally....WTF does he think the boys and I are doing? It's not exactly peaches-n-cream over here, buddy.
It angers me because we are all STRUGGLING...thanks to the POOR choices HE made....and now he wants to whine about it. PUH-LEASE!!
Ok, vent over.
If I had my way, I would never speak to him again. EVER. But, he and I have 3 amazing boys together. I try my hardest to stay strong and keep it together for their sake and theirs alone.
(((Thanks, Karen & Jeff)))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
