I know what you mean about the wedding ring. I look everyday to see if W is still wearing hers. Even knowing what we are going through and what I suspect may be coming, the rings being off would be devestating to me. Not there yet and trying not to mind read.
We know when enough is enough. You have been strong for a long time. This is the next phase. Doesn't mean it's done, just changing. You are strong! Hang in there!
Mine took off his ring a week or two ago. That was the one time in DBing I've gotten REALLY angry and hurt. The one time I lost it and showed my emotion to him. It was awful- I understand.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
I hope you're doing better today. I know it feels like a sucker punch. I know it hurts but as someone else said nothing has changed. Rings/divorce papers etc are all worldly objects what matters is the feelings, the situation, the intangibles - they're no different than they were a week ago.
Think about what was going through his mind when he took it off and feel the anger and say to yoruself 'F him, all he's decided to do is cause me pain so why should I even bother with him right now...'.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
my advice is to stay busy, be gone, surround yourself with positive people and get your mind straight and away from H.
(((luv)))
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
IDU - yeah that hurt like heck - I hated that I even felt hurt but I did. My bff said, "hey look at it this way...he doesn't deserve to wear your ring" so that's a nice way to look at it.
LSG - I love that you are stopping by even if you don't leave a comment. It's a good feeling to know you are watching my sitch.
Juno - I'm sorry it's ok remember...they don't deserve to wear it.
Smart Romeo - you're right not a damn thing has changed so what the hell - and thanks for the groove - even though my daughter kills me with lady gaga lol
ST - always sound advice...trust me I'm keeping my crooked mind as straight as possible.
Today was ok - he was actually civil - he cleaned the kitchen and did all the yard work. He went to get the new hitch for the boat and asked me to go with him to check to see how it pulls. He is still cold but at least not being an a**
He made a comment today when we were bringing the boat home...."I can't wait till we move out of this neighborhood." I don't put anything into it it's just not something I would say.
Thanks again...Luv you guys.
Luv
Last edited by luvless; 04/04/1012:10 AM. Reason: can't forget G...
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Do you think it is too late to ask him to meet your demands? Maybe with an IC to deal witht he repeated affairs? Maybe admission to the kids and an end to any contact with other women? Maybe you all could move to his job, or he must quit his job to prove committment.
If it is too late - it is his fault for not being honest I guess. I wonder is all...
If this brings up any sad feelings, I'm sorry. It seems like now is a good time as he hasn't moved out yet for an agreement.
Good luck either way. It seems like the last few weeks have been real hard.
Sorry, but it is time for luvless to lead and stop chasing. I hate that her H made the same choice as my W, but pursuit, in whatever form, is PURSUIT. And it will not work.
Luvless, time for looking out for YOU. He's either coming back (you decide if you want him anymore) or he isn't (and its HIS loss). Grieve, then focus on you and get to work.
Yeah I can't pursue does me absolutely no good. I had a good day today. We went to church and then to brunch with the kids. He was civil - not that it matters at this point. He still claims I cause him so much stress - ha! I thought it was HIM that was causing the stress.
We are home now we just had an earthquake in part of CAL but we were driving and didn't feel it. I had a nice day but I'm bored now and need some company! I need a boyfriend!
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
it's ok remember...they don't deserve to wear it.