I think my H is having MLC

[jtish7234]

I know this is alot, but Im trying to get you up to speed!!

My H came home from a hunting trip in Oct 2009, and told me he was 'alright with being a divorced single dad of two.' Things in our house had been very tense for the atleast the last two years. Things were tense in our marriage because we worked opposite shifts and started to spend less and less time together once our kids were born. When we would have a fight, he would go out of his ways to get in my face and scream at me, call me names to the point were I was scared. So many times I would tell him 'I want a divorce', just so he would get out of my face and leave me alone. (something that I wish I never would have said)

Before he left on this trip he was very stressed out and was acting very strange, so I took the boys up to my parents a few days before he left so he could relax and get ready for this trip. He took a nice gesture, as I wanted a divorce. Apparently after I left with the kids, he had an affair with a woman that he works with.

My H started acting different around the time when our 2nd son was born on St. Patty’s day 2009. He kept saying that ‘he never wanted him and that he only gave me our 2nd son to shut me up.’ He would freak out every time the baby would cry, saying he didn’t know what to do. Even though he had just done it 2 years earlier with our other son. He always had an excuse as to why he couldn’t take care of the kids on his own, which meant that I rarely left the house. Which put even more tension in our marriage because I was a stay at home mom, who was stressed out.

Then in May 2009, his parents came to our house and informed him that they were getting a divorce. It turns out my FIL had an A while he worked at another college in another state. Ever since my H and I have been together, his parents have always seemed to be at odds. My ILs never showed affection, my MiL always criticizd my FIL (we both were very bad about criticizing each other in our M). In my eyes my ILs M was a loveless marriage, which is what my H was starting to see in our marriage. So ever since my husband found this new information out he seemed to pick fights with me on a daily basis. I tried very hard to avoid them, but I would get defensive and fight back. He always told me that ‘he feeds off my moods, which wasn’t fair bc I was always stressed out. (Due to being unemployed and the fact that the bills were piling up)

Then in July 2009, he topped his bad behavior at a company golf outing. Before he went, I asked him not to drink to much, because it’s a work function and guys from corporate will be there. While he went golfing I took the boys to Chicago with my parents. When I returned home, I found him passed out naked in our bathroom at 830pm. Apparently, the now, OW drove him home. I don’t know if anything happened between them that night, and I don’t want to know. He told me afterwards, that it was nice to be able to go out and do the stuff that he never got to do in college.

A little more background info—when my H was younger, his family moved around a lot due to his dad’s job. H was spoiled and got whatever he wanted, especially when he missed behaved. His parents and grandparents couldn’t control him, so their way to control him was to give him everything he wanted. He especially had issues growing up with his mom. His dad was hardly around due to his job. In college, my H lived at home with his parents, so he didn’t go to any college parties or go out to the bars like normal college students do. (but neither did I) Then we got married shortly after I graduated from college.
My H has told me that the OW is me before we got married. OW is younger, no kids, just graduated from college. He told me when this all come out that he wants to experience the single life, he wants to travel and he wants to do what he wants to do. But from what I hear from him and other people, him and OW are glued to each other. I haven’t heard him mention anything about the guys he used to hang around with. He has become consumed with wanting to have sex, that was one of his biggest complaints about our marriage was that we didn’t have enough.

So now I am doing what I can do, GAL and trying to move forward. I know I cannot change him, but I hope he continues to go to IC, so that he can sort thru all of these issues.