4luv- you are getting great advice...if I remember correctly your H admitted to being sociopathic...I personally believe my W is BPD (borderline) could be any number of things, narcissm, hystrionic, etc...
point is, they dont behave like normal people, remorse, guilt, emoathy, etc...it is TRULY ALL ABOUT THEM- especially w/ addictions (affairs, drugs, alcohol, etc).
You will gain nothing from his apology, and DO NOT EXPECT ONE EITHER- hate to say it, but ANY contact for your H or my W- is to a) know we're still there, b) have us act out their shirt (further justify their actions, c) assuage their own guilt
We cannot give them any of those things- it's like the final step of the psych. process for cheaters- Restore Balance- eff that...they are cheating, no way in hell we should make them feel good about it.
Addicts learn from consequences and that's it- don't bail him out by allowing him to HEAR you voice.
That's my advice...
Seems to be working a bit in my sitch...not that w cares, but she sure as shirt is thinking of me more.
Her decision is to continue the A- I am nowhere for her...I say this w/ honesty- unless she comes crawling back w/ true remorse, etc- "SHE IS DEAD TO ME"
I dont mean that violently or anything like that, I mean she does not exist
