If we look at marriage as an investment portfolio of many components, an SSM can be seen as an "undeperforming" part of the portfolio.
Can the underperforming part bring down the entire investment? As we have seen, the answer is yes.
Whether it will or not depends upon the personalities involved and how each person weights the components of the "portfolio."In the context of sunken costs, its the time and effort "invested" in the various components that becomes the issue to resolve. As I mentioned in "waiting" thread, it was the topic of sunken costs in energy and the environment that had me compare it to my own SSM.
In terms of "unconditional love" there are many contexts to look through. My own personal view is through the lens of "being with" who a person (i.e., my wife) chooses to be. It can be more complicated than that. I, like how you've described yourself, have not stopped loving her simply because of her choice to turn this into a sexless marriage. In terms of a marriage of my dreams, however, this is not and cannot be achieved and so I settle for something far less satisfying.
Which brings me back to the answer for this thread: you cannot "fix" something that the other partner does not want to or will not let you fix. Period.
The can only be changed if something or greater risk is brought forward so that "fixing" the original problem becomes preferable.
The Captain
Last sex: 04/06/1997 Last attempt: 11/11/1997 W Issues "No Means No" Declaration: 11/11/1997 W chooses to terminate sex 05/1998 I gained 60, then lost 85 pounds. Start running again (marathons)
