Well I talked to the L a few days ago and boy am I glad I did. I realized that I could basically get stuck in WA for 16 years if we go up there with H and things don't work out, so anything I want to do legal-wise I need to do before going up there (if I do go), such as having a legal custody arrangement that allows me to leave the state w/our son if things don't work out. I don't want to go up there and us split up and I'm left with no friends, family, or job in my area and unable to leave. It would be a bad situation for me.
As for the other issues I've been having, H is still making an a$$ of himself around friends and family under the guise of him doing "damage control" on me. He has been messaging friends telling them I should not be talking about him to them, not to talk to me about him and I need to keep conversation about whats going on in our relationship between myself and my counselor (I had one friend in paticular really pissed off at him for that). If I talk to his mom on the phone (we were making easter plans - she called me) he yells in the background the entire time that I am a lair and malicious. His mom could hear him easily. She was asking me what the heck is wrong with him, what's he so paranoid about, and I told her that I've been putting up with this yelling for days, ever since he found out I wasn't keeping the separation secret anymore. Basically, he makes himself look terrible and wants to blame me. Even his mom said I haven't said anything bad or malicious, just shown concern. She's getting increasingly concerned about his behavior, especially since H doesn't seem to care if our son is a witness to it.
Last night while we were watching TV he goes and gets a condom out and sets it down on the cushoin between us, and started pressuring me for sex. Then he started leaning on me and putting his arms around me even though I said I wasn't comfortable. I ended up having to walk away. Now he's mad at me for that too.
Basically, he's mad at me for everything, and everything is my fault. He claims he never brought up separation, that HE wanted to work on our relationship and I refused, that this is some big conspiracy on my part to force him to divorce me, that I am trying to bait him into arguments and aggressive behavior (when really, I've been trying to detach a bit and not argue at all) just to be able to prove how abusive he is. He's pushing HARD right now, but I refuse to budge. My counselor has been able to help me from piling all the responsiblity of this onto me, and was able to show me that we do not currently have a relationship based on equality. He's been railroading me for years, and I'm done with it.
