I do know one thing my H was depressed for quite a while before he left, but could never really tell me why. First it was one thing and then another and it kept changing. He would tell me that he felt that all he was doing was just existing. There was no happiness or joy in his life.
SA - almost identical with mine. His depression goes back almost 4 years now. Wasn't so obvious to me at the time but when I look back there were so many signs...He didn't express any unhappiness with our relationship, just about work, dreams, life in general. He was looking for thinks to make himself feel happier...started running, volunteering... none of it worked to bring him the relief that he was looking for, I guess that at that point he decided that our marriage must be the reason for his happiness and started an affair. Our relationship came under attack only when his affair started.
Now he left me and seems more miserable then ever before...He actually acknowledges that he is still unhappy, but again (justifying) he is unhappy because of our "situation". If D & I didn't exist and he could disappear into the sunset with OW would he be happy? I doubt it....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Mila - My H has had bouts of depression on and off for a long time. There were times I knew he blamed the M for it. H would snap out of it and all would be well again. Looking back on it now I believe H's trigger may have been his stroke. (4 1/2 years ago) He has been depressed to one degree or another since that time. More so and constant in the last 2 years.
My H also seems even more miserable than before he left. I'm sure that's why a divorce is the next logical step for him. He believes if he can remove me from his life altogether that will make it all better.
If he doesn't realize that he needs to look inside ow will be the next on the list to be blamed. How can such a smart man be so ignorant?
DG - it must be the Easter Holidays, we are just more emotional?
BTW - A Realtor lifted my spirits a bit. While looking at a house I mentioned that I have 16-year old D. She said you don't look old enough to have a D that age. I said I'm 52....her jaw dropped and she said you sure don't look it. Made my day ....that's how desperate I'm. Hahaha
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Ok girls! We are all going to forget about our H's for awhile and enjoy the weekend! My H took S14 dirt biking today and dropped him and the bikes off and didn't come in and I didn't go out! I was not sad at all! Amazed myself over that! I had an EOB statement that I had just picked up in the mail and could have run that out but I didn't...it wasn't important and he can get it the next time! A few days ago, I would have used that as an excuse to go talk to him!!! Feeling good about that!!!!
And Mila, you are a pretty lady and you do NOT look 52 IF (lol) that is your REAL picture on the alt!!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
CW - good plan - lets enjoy the weekend. Good going ignoring your WH today. If he wanted to see you he would've come in to say hi.
And thanks for the compliment...I feel like I was fishing for it with my post...sorry that wasn't my intention. My picture on alt was taken this year, but with the editing (to mask my identity) you don't really see all the wrinkles lol.
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I will enjoy rest of today for sure. Tomorrow morning WH is coming "to help me" work on the yard. If I'll enjoy it? We will see, depends on which one of him is going to show up LOL
Last edited by Mila; 04/04/1012:58 AM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
