Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

This is a terrible day. I miss the kids, and I even miss her. I miss my family. I try not to let her know, but I have never been great at hiding my emotions. I hate days when she takes the kids somewhere without me. I just feel so hollow inside right now. I am trying to cope, so I took a walk and left my cell phone home. All I could do was think about how my family is in a mess. I have not had any appetite this week. I have not really eaten much this week. I just feel empty, and I do not want my M to end, but I just feel the end is near for my wonderful family. I am so sad for the kids!

I did not hear back from the recruiter on an interview with the hiring manager for a position I really want. I think this would help to keep my mind off my stitch. I hope and pray everyday that my stitch with change. I need money for legal fees because she said I would end up on the street with nothing. I know I should not believe her, but She has so much financial support to fight me forever. Anyways...

I know I should not feel hate for someone, but I truly hate the OM. I have not been able to get the information on him to contact the OMW. The money order was lost in the mail for the PI too. I feel that I am being hit while I am down. I know it sounds like I am depressed, and maybe I am. I just feel so hurt by all this. I know all of you here have your own suffering and pain. I just don't think I do as well as most of you here at dealing with it. I read the other posts, and I am amazed by all of you. Everyone is so much stronger than me. I want to post to everyone, but I barely can post my own stuff these days.

I wish everyone the best here, and I do want to say keep up with your faith that you will be okay. I will do my best too, but sometimes lately I feel that I am losing hope to save my M. I love my wife so much, and I don't know what else I can do. I think I am messing up on this DBing. Anyways, I have a lot to get out today. I just needed to write. I hope this will help for a few minutes if even for a moment I will be happy. Please everyone be happy too if you can. My prayers are with all of you!!!

I really appreciate everyone's support for me and my stitch. I really have needed a place for some support!!!