OTMT - at this point you are simply too self absorbed to work on your M. Period. June is right... it seems all you care about is your own happiness and needs. IMO you have painted a very skewed portrait of your W. You need to work on your addiction and you before you should even consider trying to work on the M.
I also agree about the sex issues. You have conjured up such unreal expectations about what a woman and sex should be that you can't participate, enjoy or even recognize reality anymore.
Honestly, I can't say I blame your W for wanting out. To be with a man for 10 years knowing he thinks you are stupid, ugly and everything else you say she is, well, I would run too.
It is time to work on you and the R you have with your children. The situation with your W is becoming very, very unhealthy and twisted.
