Thanks Flomom--I didn't mean to hijack H4L's thread. I am "back" sort of--I never did take care of the boundary issues like I should have the first time I was here.
To be honest, the verbal abuse and anger REALLY subsided after about 6 months of DBing. Some stresses of the past year have brought them right back though...
My husband has always been very impatiant. When he is stressed, he is verbally abusive. I was shocked when it first happened--he looks like an angel to everyone else, and all of a sudden he can let loose with the most VILE stuff.
I became, in my own way, abusive back. It's like the chicken and the egg--I am not sure which came first.
That totally doesn't matter--I learned things to better ME, and as a result the relationship got MUCH better.
So, I have "lived" this stuff and it works--now I need to learn how to make and enforce boundaries better.
I'm hoping it doesn't take too much longer (I'm in my 3rd month and we've been married an additional 6 years since I was last here). I'm hoping it's another 3 months to go and NOT 12.lol.
