Waiting More Than a Dozen Years

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Virginia:

Here is something I had on my hard-drive from 2002. It comes from another piece (which I am looking for) but summarizes this idea of "not enough."

We are born into a cruel and hostile world, run by a God who has things that He wants us to do and things He doesn’t want us to do. He will punish us with everlasting torture if we don’t get the two right. The world is made even more cruel and hostile by people who run it by having things that they want us to do and things they don’t want us to do. And they will punish and torture us if we don’t get the two right. God, as all powerful, has no power over these people or the way they run the planet or he has given them the power to do these things on his behalf.

One of the first things we become aware of is ourselves as “separate” from everything else and everything else as separate from everything else. In fact, or very first experience of life is the separation from our mothers, the very Source of our Life. This creates the context for our reality, which we experience as one of separation from the Source of Life. We further “celebrate” and promote this separation in the name of freedom, independence, and commendable behavior.

We are not only separate from all Life but from everything else in Life. Everything that exists, exists separate from us. We don’t want it that way, we wish it were otherwise and, indeed we strive for it to be otherwise, but this is the way it is. But wanting it to be otherwise is only allowed under certain situations.

We seek the experience of Oneness, to become part of the Whole again with all things and especially with each other. It seems instinctual, even natural, for we cannot really explain why we seek this Oneness. The only problem is there never seems to be enough of the other to satisfy us. No matter what the other thing is that we want, we cannot seem to get enough of it. We cannot get enough love, time, money. We cannot get enough of whatever it is we think we need in order to be happy and fulfilled. The moment we think we have enough, we decide we want more.

Since there is “not enough” of whatever it is that we think we need to be happy, we must “do stuff” to get as much as we can get. Things are required of us in exchange for everything, from God’s love to the natural bounty of Life. Simply “being alive” is not enough. Therefore we, like all of Life, are not enough.

Because just “being” isn’t sufficient, the competition begins. If there’s not enough out there, we have to compete for what’s there. We view Life from scarcity.

We have to compete for everything, including God.

The competition is tough. It is about our very survival. In this contest only the fittest survive. And to the victor go all the spoils. If we lose, we live a hell on Earth. And after we die, if we are the losers in the competition for God, we experience hell again--this time forever.


I used in part of a discussion on the concept of compassion and "enough."