Should I keep trying? Even though there is OM?

[Bworl]

Have you ever seen the beef jerky commercial with the oriental business executive and his assistant?


The executive has just given a presentation and is enjoying a snack of beef jerky. The assistant comes across as a smothering butt kisser and mimicks everything the executive does, apparently to stay on his good side and receive his favor. He carries it to ridiculous extremes when the executive says he has to use the restroom and the assistant starts to go that way too. The executive looks at him oddly and asks if the assistant has to "go." The assistant says he could try.



I always want to smack that assistant upside the head.


I think many times we come across that way to a spouse or ex-spouse that we still have feelings for.


We tend to "hover" when they are around. We tend to find reasons or excuses to be around them or contact them. In what we think are subtle ways, we make our intentions or hopes known to them.


But they left because they wanted to get away from us. They, for whatever reason, no longer found us attractive. They want space and distance from us.


We keep finding ways to take it away.



The deal is that your ex-wife fell in love with you once before, so it's conceivable that she could fall in love with you again.



But not if you're doing all the things I mentioned above. Because understand this, regardless of what positive changes you think you have made, if you have not honored or respected her need for time and distance sufficiently (in HER eyes, not in YOUR eyes), then she doesn't see that you've changed one bit.




Give her space.

Give up on her, and give up on her and you as a team.

Become the best you that you can become.


Make your goal to find absolute satisfaction and contentment in your life apart from her.

If you can accomplish that, you might be surprised what time, distance, and prolonged and sustained changes from you might produce.



Blessings,

Bill