How do I act?

[Surviving03]

Thank you Steady... that gives me alot to think about... and reflecting back, I see where maybe I brushed some of those things aside and chose to ignore for the time being because i was in love and that felt better than worrying about money issues and his family and what not. And I see where H prob brushed some things aside that he didnt like about me for the same reasons. I can say that I was well aware of things before we got married, and that he did do alot of changing (such as financially, he started wanting to save money, started realizing what he could and could not afford, but now that he wants to be single he has reverted back to his old habits) he also started out being very helpful around the house, but that stopped and never really came back... etc... so I guess I may have been more decieved to think that he was making some good changes for our relationship, but then shortly into our marriage those things stopped and of course they are completely stopped now.

H was talking to me today about alot of stories and things he heard from other people about their marriages or divorces and what not and I suddenly feel today that I am a victim of negative influences around my H. H was telling me about how OW is divorced and how her sitch went, and how so and so was talking about all the bad stuff his exW did to him and then so and so was getting D because of xyz and etc.... of the 15 people on his crew, sounds like about 10 were divorced or getting divorced... if THATS the kind of stuff that was surrounding him for 7 months, and here he is thinking we have some problems... wow! now I really do believe OW has a much bigger role in this than I realized, before H started to have a crush on her, they were work friends and she prob talked to him alot about her sitch and he got to feeling like he can relate and she may have come out of it a "better" person or what not... and he has said SO many times something along the lines of "people get divorced, it happens" like its no big deal, he sees it all the time... well of course its no big deal to him, he wasnt able to break the cycle, wasnt able to be stronger than those around him, was easily influences IMO... and here I am left to be the victim of that... but so is H... he became a victim of influence... subconscience influence... I really believe this now... this is a tragedy...