Positive Moments... The Sequel

[K4D]

Tonight W and I talked for a couple of hours after she came over to pick up our girls for the week. Before we knew it, we ended up at dinner together again continuing to chat about things. Seems to becoming more common these days.

If they change their mind at the last minute and invite you for the kids' sake and you go, it's weird - b/c you actually don't like being around them, and they don't like being around you, yet it's what you are praying will happen.

I actually let W know tonight that I wasn't interested in being invited to anymore "family" events if it was all fake and just to make sure the kids were there.

I also told W tonight that I don't need to be included in any holiday events because someone is worried about me spending it alone. I said I am fine and will make plans for myself and not to concern themselves with me anymore. W said that the girls worried about me being alone for holidays. I reiterated I am fine and I make my own plans.

If you are still waiting for this pattern of theirs to change, then you're in the same place you were in 2 Easter's ago. Tell me you're not, please.

I'm not or I wouldn't have stated what I did tonight to my W.

Easter is about change, birth and re-birth, growth, resurrection, etc. I know you want it to be your M that gets resurrected, but what if YOU are instead, what if you are "re-born"-emotionally and mentally and as a partner?

I have been reborn as a person. Every day I am growing more and more into who I should have been all along. I look back at how I was a year ago and how I am today, and they are 2 different worlds.

What if you stopped thinking you need your wife for happiness, and instead, you keep up the GAL activities, and do some serious personal growth work that is internal, and just learn, finally, how to be a happy man who lives well? I'm not a shrink, but I think it starts with you believing at some level, that you deserve to be happy. Do you know what I'm talking about?

It would be nice to be desired. But either way, I am making plans for my own life each day and including more the further along I get.

I almost kind of feel like you are still trying to categorize me into where I used to be, and I am not where I used to be.

My life is much more fulfilling now than it was in the past. I can't complain. God has been good to me.

Kevin