looks like I will am throwing in the towel. I was all ready to enjoy a drama free easter weekend and low and behold I get a call from the OW (the one that my husband has a child by prior to getting married). Just for background...The OW has NEVER called me. The first time that I ever saw inappropriate text messages between her and my husband back in Jan 2009, I contacted her to find out what was going on between her and my husband and she gave me attitude. Ever since then I didn't feel the need to contact her because I didn't want to elevate her status in my marriage and I realized that she would lie for my husband.
Tonight however, OW must have had a change of heart. Apparently my husband drove out of state to see her and their child. My husband did NOT tell me he was out of state and we were actually on the phone for about an hour today while I was driving to another state for a wedding. HE said he was keeping me company since i was driving so early.
When OW called she didn't say hello or anything...she started with "4luv, (husband's name) wants to speak to you."
Me: Excuse me... OW: your husband needs to tell you something (as she is yelling for my husband to get on the phone)
PHONE DISCONNECTS AND OW calls me right back
OW: (husband's name) hung up the phone. Me: are you in our state OW: no, your husband is visiting me Me: ok, what is going on... OW: he wont get on the phone to tell you Me: well why don't you say what it is? OW: he is up here with me Me: well, we are still married...matter of fact he JUST begged me to move back in the new apartment. OW: (gets REALLY upset) Oh really!!! I found that apartment for him (and then she says the address, which I already knew because husband had the address updated on our car insurance and sent me the new card). Me: I already know the address. but anyway, we are married. We ML on a regular basis still....matter of fact, we just spent a weekend together this past week ML. OW: (more upset) Really, he is lying to BOTH of us then Me: but what about you? you know that we are married OW: don't get mad at me, you should be mad at your husband Me: don't worry about what i feel about him...that is between me and him...what about your morals. OW: your husband is suppose to be moving to my state Me: well that is funny being that he has been applying for jobs down here closer to our families and our hometown OW: see how he is lying to both of us. he told me that me and our son were moving to his new apartment Me: well why are you even messing with a married man? OW: aren't yall going through a divorce Me: nope, we haven't even MET with or even filled out a single paper pertaining to that. and even if that were the case, y are u in a position to mess with a man that is married. you talking about moving to our state...do you even have a job? OW: you don't need to worry about that, sweetie, and he told me yall were getting a divorce. Me: nope, we haven't even looked into that. Furthermore, my husband AND his brother who was living with us have BOTH showed me the letters and your text messages. My husband said that he just tells you whatever you wanna hear to keep the peace for his son's sake. They both laugh at the stuff you write. OW: oh really!! (yelling for husband to get the phone). Did you know that he sends me money every month Me: yes, we are married, we have the same account. and I AM THE ONE THAT SENDS THE MONEY FOR MY HUSBAND'S SON TO YOU. But you better have enjoyed it cause that is stopping. OW: whatever...fussing some more (then phone disconnects...i am assuming she hung up or husband hung it up)
I am PISSED!! I wish I would have controlled myself more when talking to her. I just had been waiting so long to give her a piece of my mind. Remember we were associates at one point. I spoke out of emotion. I was so upset that she wanted to play the victim too and kept saying "he is lying to the both of us!!!" I had a 3 hour drive to process all that took place.
I am most upset that husband was a coward and didn't even bother to speak to me but let another woman talk to me like that in front of him. he was so lame that he wouldn't even call me from his phone but instead kept hanging up the phone. And he hasn't even sent a text message or called to even apologize. I know this is DB but enough is enough. The above conversation is some high school mess. I have a child, am a working professional, entrepreneur, and too FLY to be dealing with this mess. I was tempted to call husband but I couldn't think of ONE good reason or one thing to say to him. I already know that he is going to avoid me. I have never seen a man act so cowardly. If you are gonna play the game at least own up to it when it gets down to it. Looks like NC is easy now. I gotta look out for me. I tried to keep the door cracked open for husband to wake up and for us to repair this but his actions tonight REALLY showed me whose interests he has and they are DEFINITELY not mine nor my son's.
So, game plan...filing for legal separation (not ready to file divorce) and for child support.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
