I didn't mean to sound negative- I'm just letting you know that I've been in the fog myself...and it's effing bizarre.
In my sitch it was all timing- my EA wouldn't have gone PA, though I often thought about it...I DO NOT BELIEVE IN D and I would not physically cheat on W- unless I were drinking and I havent done that in almost 7 years.
Basically, when my EA fell apart, my understanding was clear that I needed a better M and there was alot I could do to help it get better.
Unfortunately, we never had the opportunity to do so b/c W started her EA/PA literally days later and since then its been her in the fog.
When I was in the EA, W made some changes- she offered ML more often, etc...prob is she never initiated and she never initiated affection...
I was clouded and "turned off" from W b/c I believe the shurt I was telling my EA...forget W's A- when she said she was done and proved it by her actions- that's what made me chase- plus the fact I didn't want an EA...
So I had turned my attention to W, I knew what needed to be changed, and right then she was DONE- the rest is history.
If you have communicated all you can- you need to create the sense of loss and really live it out...
For instance and not that it means anything- I am 12 days NC- W used to not take my calls, now she's been initiating all contact, and I'm not partaking...
I will not deal w/ W in any way as long as OM is in the pic...her choice
