CW, I know it doesn't feel like it right now and it hurts like h*ll, but if they're going to live together there is a bright side. It stops being fantasy for them and starts being reality. Real life sets in rather quickly and they can't keep the masks on 24/7 for each other. They each get to find out what gems they've got. Your H will see what he has thrown his entire family away for. Step back away from it. Say or do nothing that can give the two of them something to build a triangle against you with.
It's hard, I live it everyday. I've also heard it isn't everything wonderful that H thought it would be. Hmmmm, imagine that.
Someone once told me to be the better option. I'm keeping my mouth closed and eyes and ears open.
Detach from it the best you can. We will get through this.
Hi SC- will try and catch up on your sitch! Sorry you are having an emotional weekend too! H has been gone since 12/30. The kids have been at his house twice. He is renting a house from OW's family. I don't know if he meant he was moving in with OW or just that "they" were going to look at a house. I have read that it is ok for me to tell the kids that I wanted our family to stay together and if the subject of OW comes up, then to make sure the kids understand that it is wrong to do that when you are married.
FM-Kids didn't question the "we" but SIL sure heard it and told DIL that she felt like slapping him when he said that! She is livid with him...kids told me they asked him today about if he was coming home and he said "I am probably not coming home".
SA-I agree that H and OW living together would be a reality check for both...at this point, I am still standing! Crazy as it seems!
So, went to SS's for fish tonight and my co-workers came and kidnappend me and DIL to get sit in a hot tub and drink some tequila rose shakes! My kids stayed with SS and grandson's. I resisted at first but DIL wanted to go so we did and so glad I did! Am very relaxed and just about ready for bed!!! Should make for a better weekend!!!! Hope you guys all have a good one too!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Excellent GAL CW . How come no one ever forces me to drink tequila in a hot tub
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
So, a beautiful day it turned out to be but had a couple of sad moments...was fun over at DIL's playing with the grandkids etc. The kids and I left and on the way home drove by the lakes and saw people camping and I just know if H was home, that is what we would be doing...also, saw several hot rods out driving around and I couldn't help but think that that is what H and OW are probably doing this afternoon....I slapped myself for even letting that thought into my head...dangit! Just told myself that he is the one missing out on the family fun...he didn't even call the kids today to wish them a Happy Easter. Otherwise, a good day!
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CW - I'm glad you had a good day for the most part. My day had a couple sad moments too. We must be getting better at getting past them faster. That's a positive!
CW Focus on the positives of the day, so many of them. Something I learned from H`s MLC, was that I would always ASSUME what H was doing. Drove me crazy, he would never tell me the truth anyway. I stopped that thought process by seeing how it made ME feel, usually badly. It wasn`t easy, but finally I learned to stop assuming what H was up to.
My H and his ow`s were never as happy as I thought they were. Just the opposite. I also learned that the ow are very insecure of the LBS, and always assume what H is doing with you. Just something to think about.
Thanks SA and Celestial-I had really been doing very well in the area of not thinking about what H is doing but the awesome weather and of course seeing others doing the things that WE loved to do together (like camping, go for a drive etc.) made me think of it...what is so funny is that I was so mad at H for buying that dang hot rod (he did it without talking to me) and was ready to divorce HIM over it!!! lol
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
. How come no one ever forces me to drink tequila in a hot tub 