How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

OK here it goes....

W wife slept in diff room than me last night. She slept on old couch then moved to old bed. This morning she walked out the room on the phone. Her father left her a voicemail that his girlfriend had to go in for emergency surgery due to a blood-clot in her head.

Me and my W went up to the hospital where we met up with her father. Her father was very upset nearly in tears and I knew it had a great affect on her as well. I was supportive. I offered FIL something to eat or drink I would run and get it. He declined because he was leaving.

Me and my W left. We went to grab a bite to eat and did a little shopping. We had a pretty descent time considering.

What I noticed was my W would look at something, smile and say "I'm going to get this" and I would reply "sounds good, it looks nice" and she would say " WELL IT MAKES ME HAPPY" so I would say "get it if it makes you happy."

We got home she showered and before I took off for work we watched a little TV together and shared some laughs (amer. Funny vids). For a brief moment it was like old times minus the ILY and affection.

My W is very stressed out with our situation. Her cousins passing (turns out he committed suicide) and now the pain her father is in due to his GF health. I too was pretty close to my FIL GF (closer than I am with my W mother).

My W did say a few times "as if I did not have enough going on in my life" I did say once "it will all work out, better days will come"

I went to work, while on duty I stopped in the hospital after hours and checked up on her. She was sleeping so I let her lay in peace.

I called my FIL let him know I checked up on her and that she was sleeping. He was thankful because he was at home worrying. He thought it was very nice of me. I told him "NP if you need anything, anything at all just call me or my W anytime or stop by our house the door is always open. Take care, we'll see you tomorrow" end of call.

To answer a couple questions...
- I am the reason for my W's depression. Sh told me countless times about how terrible I made her feel...I would shrug it off like an a-hole. She even said to me several times ali think I will be dead by the time I am 35 because of the stress you put on me" the bulb would go on and I treated her better but then slipped back into my old routine...


One more thing...my wife bought a ring because it makes her happy. She does not wear her wedding ring but she had worn this other wring today on her "wedding finger" any good I can take from that?