There have been so many "WTF" moments all I can do is laugh till I cry. My lack of judgement and self esteem is more apparent with OM than it was when I left H!
Rico Suave, aka OM, swept me off my feet. Remember, he too is in a MLC. I am 16 years younger. I look just like his STBX. I've done the same FI (financial infidelities) in my marriage that she has done in theirs. He promised me the world. I was the most beautiful person he has ever met/seen. His profession is my "dream" and that's what we had in common. Well, I don't like his profession, it's not what I thought, nor do I like how he conducts his business. He's an opportunist and has co-dependency issues. Great combination he and I!
My attraction to men is the "Alpha Dog" so to speak. Well, the dominating controlling personality is bullshit. I believe when Mr Suave was pursuing me he didn't really see the "real me". The strong minded, independent person (now that I am coming out of the fog) and not the little push over that he "thought" I was.
I got myself into a situation that is not good. He knew I was financially strapped and he "will take care of everything". HA, he has no money. He took care of everything up to a certain point now he's asking me for money. Because of the finances, I am living in his vacation home till I get the $$$ to get the hell out of here and this situation!
Please be careful on cutting your WAS off on finances. We get into a state of mind where our backs are against the wall and will take any sort of help to get out. OM secluded me. I have no cell service where I live, I have to drive 15 mins to get service, there is a land line that I do use and lots of people know where and who I am with. When I would get into my car and leave to make phone calls the "controlling monster" would take a ride into town with me, so no phone calls.
Right now, he helped move me out and decided to put all my stuff into storage for me with his own lock and key. He said he only had one key.
Me getting away from OM is more than just, "I am done with you, we are breaking up." I need help doing this. I have to move two cars out of state, get bolt cutters to cut the lock on storage and pack up a U-haul. I have mentally left him, haven't been having any P contact in over a month plus he is back and forth in two states for work wise. AGAIN, a runner. AGAIN, I am trying to face my fears, get a backbone, not be a runner with OM either.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I consider him a great friend, even after all of the above. No matter the bashing on this that I am sure is due to come my way, this is MY phase and MY steps of getting out of MY fog. I KNOW deep down it's a "sick" friendship. It's the physical breakaway that is going to cure me of this thought process.
Me: WAW/MLC 41 H: 42 M: 16 yr T: 20 Me: EA/PA started Sept 2008 D: Anytime, just need to sign papers http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1968939&page=1
