What a combo, ow coaching your H, the two of them together are nuttier than squirrel sh*t. J3B was right, no way you were going to win that one.
My thoughts were like those of yours, your H was feeling guilty because he knows how little attention he's giving your D. She knows it too. She is at an age where if she wants her dad to know something she can tell him herself. Not your job anymore.
He has no one to blame but himself for the consequences.