How do you forget....how do you turn off the love?

[ddstartingover]

Mach - I shared the e-mail here, because it struck me as odd----but then was out the door to take the kids to see my mother. It had been too long. We had a good afternoon and returned in time for them to be on their way to dad's house.

The old me would have answered right away.....said something about how we should still be together, and if he is concerned about the kids missing out----then he needs to reconsider all that he has done and said over the past 2+ years and return to me and our family......

The new me recognizes this as more bait-----being nice on the heels of contact about D this week. The new me sees this as another attempt to make it seem like we can divorce but still act like this is no big deal.

I would like the kids here with me----but I want them here all the time, and that is not our reality. I'm trying now to decide how to respond.....either a quick: Thanks, but I have plans and Sunday evening is fine (when I get them back).......or something of that sort. I would LOVE to say: No - not a big deal----not like they believe in the Easter Bunny anymore----GO SEE YOUR MOTHER. You haven't seen her in 6? 7? 8? months. The kids haven't see her in that long......and she still has their Christmas presents........but, I won't do that.

Thanks Jack. I do agree. She is a great kid. I do trust her, and I know we live in a different world than the one that I grew up in. I'm not so concerned about her only sleeping with one person in her life. I want her to know what an important decision it is to make-----the first time, and at a young age. I am not going to turn around and now tell her it is WRONG, especially after telling her I understand where she is and how she feels----because I do. I am thinking of what to say.......how to say it, because I do feel that I need to say more.....because this is a HUGE step.

As a parent, I don't want to feel like I am giving her permission-----because I can't even be the one to do that. Her body is HER body, and her decision. I just want to her to know how this will change her and how this will change her relationship with her best friend. I need to say something about STD's and a reminder about the pill not being 100% effective.....still trying to figure out how I posted in Newcomers.......and not my normal MLC forum....but I've had some input----some I agree with, some I do not......but that's how it goes.