Db not working, MLC spouse pushing D

[foreverhesaid]

My husband has asked for a divorce but there are several different types in NY state. He wants the one where everything is mutually agreed upon, so that it wouldn't have to come out in court that he is committing adultery. We haven't yet gotten to the point where we've sat down and tried to divide everything.

I suppose one good thing is that when I first asked my husband what he was thinking, was that I would get the house and the business and he would take 'everything else' - meaning our investments. Because our stock market took a dive there for a while, and paying off debt, our investments aren't really all that much money. However I still need to talk with a lawyer as to if this might be 'a good deal' for me. Normally things are split 50/50 here, so it might be adventageous for me to jump at this, despite the fact I don't want the divorce.

This week my parents came to visit on wednesday and my husband quietly packed while I was at dinner with them, then dissappeared the next morning. As he was leaving he said something like, "I hope that you can find at least something positive to say about me to your folks..." It really made me wonder, does he think I spend the entire time bashing him when I want to save the marriage? I replied with something like, "I don't have to bash you, I just tell the truth about the situation and they make their own judgement." Which of course made him mad (probably not good db-ing on my part) because in his head he's justified the whole affair.

Naturally my folks were concerned about me but also 'us' as well. They know that he's acting kooky an that its really an issue more so for him based on his depression. They fully support the marriage but of course we can't make him do anything.

We were to work a half day today (Good Friday) and of course the staff realized that he was gone again. Its hard seeing them lose respect for him and yet I feel I can't make excuses for him. He seems to think that he's fooling everyone and is so pulled together, and of course its painfully obvious to everyone else that he's falling apart.