Sorry you (like the rest of us) find yourself here. Like I have seen said, welcome to the best place you never wanted to be.
I don't know the full story of your sitch, but from the sound of your last post, you need to take some deep breaths and address your fear. It is NOT something that will serve you well.
Imagine in your mind the worst case scenario. Go to that place and really feel it, experience it. And, realize that if that happened, you will be fine. You will still have a great life with kids in it. Once you can accept that you will make it through whatever comes at you, then there's nothing left to fear. You don't want the worst case scenario to happen, but you can handle whatever comes at you.
Now, focus on yourself and take a long, hard look at the things that need improvement. And, here's teh catch: you have to change those things NOT to win back your W, but SOLELY for YOU. Not for any other person or reason.
Focus on you. Not just improving things in you, but also look at the things you enjoy doing. And get busy doing them. Again, not because it might make an impression on your W, but for no other reason than it makes you happy.
