Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[MHL]

Someone fill up my PATIENCE tank I am running low.

Burn something for fuel. Anger, hope, hate, something burns.

There is no anger or hate....lots of hope and wanting it to get better quicker. I know this stuff and somehow putting it down helps.

I am okay, just want skip the commercials and get back to the show.

[C-Bart]

Your doing fine. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Your really good at this stuff!

Think it was you who recommended the American Girl book to me for D11. Picked one up tonight about taking care of her body. She is reading it now. Funny I never thought I'd have to teach her this stuff by myself.

[MHL]

I wish, think it was someone else that recomended the book but I had weighed in on that discussion.

After picking the splinters out of my forehead from yesterday I can say this about my R with my D13. It is closer than it has ever been and we have a bond that is stronger than ever.

Because, of what she knows of her mother's behavior I was able to talk to her quite frankly about boys and sex and what boys really want, reputations among friends, gossip the whole thing.

My W had the "sex talk" with her at 9 or 10 years old. It was just the basics, you know the mechanics of it all. About the age of my D13 is when the father should have a talk his daughter about boys, b/c he is in a position to explain things through the eyes of a boy.

I had this talk with my D13 in December, I can tell you that once I had this talk with my D13 the trust between us has grown and she now talks more openly about her R with her "boyfriend". Completely innocent at this point.

[dwinter82]

MSH, looks like you received a lot of feedback yesterday. I think given your complex sitch, you are doing the best you can.

Hope all is well.

[MHL]

DW,
Actually, things seem to be getting better.

There is a lot of crap going on legal separation coming to a head, S9 is not doing well. He is questioning what is going on more and more, why all this is going on, this was actually happening last night after the wood products to the head. Not that I was even considering telling him anything other than "It is hard and we are working on things".

I am feeling good, warmer weather would help. Thanks for the supportive words, it is complex to say the least but the path is becoming more clear everyday.

[C-Bart]

MHL,
Been thinking about you. How are things?

[MHL]

Greetings Everyone,

First things first, Today is “Little Friday” this is my day of the week that I am Superman, nothing messes up this day. It is a day of affirmation for me, and I invite you to join me. It is a day that I wake up and say, “Life is good” no matter what!! So when you get off work today, put on that music that takes to a different place, pop open your favorite beverage and sit back and relax, I will be right there with you. I will have on a little Bob Marley and kicking back with a Corona Light (no lime), I can hear the waves lapping the beach now, BTW it is 72 degrees and sunny here!!!! Makes that trip to the Caribbean a little easier.

It has been a couple of weeks since I posted last, needed to take a break from the boards. Sometimes you need time to take stock of what is going on in your life to see if the choices you have made are the right choices for you and your family. Additionally, I had to take time to search my feelings about my wife, to see if I wanted to continue this path I have chosen thus far.

I am still committed to my wife and my marriage and I am still prepared for the TIME this journey is going to take.

There are many positives going on in my sitch, really too many to list. Things are headed in the right direction just never moving as fast as I would like. I will say this, last week I went to dinner with my wife at her request !! While at dinner we talked about many things and progress was made, she did not say she is ready to work on the marriage yet. She did say, “I am sorry for hurting you”. (my jaw did hit the table) I am taking everything very slow and just keeping a Positive Mental Attitude.

I know I am leaving out many details here and I hope to share more successes in the near future. I hope this is an inspiration to all those who are reading this, I am not a success story yet and I have zero expectations but I take things a day at a time. The one constant that I learned now matter what your situation is like, is that all this takes TIME. I was rereading my journal today from back in late October 2009 and one of my big goals was that my W would be back in the house by March. Well it is March and while I feel a lot better today than I did in October, she is not back and I don’t see that on the horizon yet, more TIME.

Happy “Little Friday” !!!!

[trustingfaith]

MHL - so glad things seem to be making forward progress! Those goal times are funny, aren't they? I know I have mentally set some just to have them come and go.

You are right. All of this takes time, lots and lots and lots of time. I am struggling with that fact today.

I can imagine how you must have felt hearing her apology for hurting you! That's great that she said those words.

Enjoy Little Friday!

[MHL]

Hello Everyone,
I know I have fallen off the map and I am kicking my thread back up just to let everyone know that I am still alive and kicking.

My situation continues to improve in the form of baby steps almost everyday. The relationship with my wife is very friendly, there is almost no uneasy feelings between us, I do not initiate contact with her but do respond when she contacts me, it is usually about our S9. D13 still not talking to her but D13 seems to be improving with therapy.

We have a "date" tonight! granted we have not called it that and there is a purpose for the date. Ironically we are going to go over the legal separation document I got from her Lawyer last Friday. There are a few items out of the 26 page document that I would like changed but not many. I suggested last week that we get together to talk about it rather than going back and forth through the Lawyers. My wife suggested this Friday would be good night to get together.

Without going into details there are many indications that my W might want to "work on the M" and I think that she may just want to the the sep agreement done, she even had a reconciliation clause put in the agreement. According to my L this is a very good sign. I have absolutely zero expectations but I am treating tonight as a date given the emails we have exchanged today.

I suggested a least a couple of drinks before we go over the sep aggrement, spend 10 minute on the agreement, go out for dinner then see where the wind blows us????

She responded "sounds great !!!"

We went on to discuss the drink choices given the beautiful weather, we are debating Corona's or Mojito's (I think we will do both).

Still keeping the PMA up and still doing "Little Fridays", I can honestly say I have my confidence back and I feel good about myself. I will eventually get caught up on everyone, but it is true that when things do get going good you tend to somehow not have as much time to jump on the boards.

Patience has been the key so far and really just putting my W completely out of my mind and filling my life with my kids, my house, my job and my friends. I wish I could say that I have followed the DB playbook page by page but I have not all I can say is that when I back way off and stay friendly things get better. Not exactly sage advice but it is working in my sitch.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Good to hear it Miss.