My IC appt was first. In it I told her of my problems. Very embarrassed to do it, but I can't see how to deal with current issues if I have an addiction without her knowing.
Some things that came up were: - W will likely be oversensitive for a while. Her self-esteem and depressive cycles will continue. I had told the IC I could handle that for a year, but not forever. IC said likely the problems will last longer than that, and like shyness, some parts of it would last forever.
- Got some treatment ideas to get my problem out of most of my life. IC confirmed that likely the problem will take a long time to solve. More than 6 months.
- That having a threat of D if it continued, or W policing my actions will probably make the problem worse. I need to know if she really has got an open view or ultimatum for the 6th month.
- My acceptance of the miscommunication/langauge/cultural/intellectual connection issues is still not there and may be a road block
______________
So I left the IC. Spend some time thinking, and decided to go get the flowers & chocolates. Got home. She hadn't eaten and it was bedtime for kids. I began setting the table with a candle, the flowers, nice plates and an "artistic" layout...some clean music in the b/ground. Told her it was a replacement to last night. Had a nice dinner. Offered a massage... (:
Overall the night was very nice. Still thinking about what was said at the IC.
